Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Scene between an Idealistic Medical Doctor and Divinely Retributed Pedophilic Ex-Priest

FATHER JOE: Oh. It's you.

SCULLY: I hope I'm not dropping in at an inconvenient time. I know you've probably had a busy day munching on tile or eating grapes with your eyes closed.

FATHER JOE: Oh... You bitch!

SCULLY: OK I'm sorry. Please, I actually need to have a word with you.

SCULLY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you just sicken me so much, you cheap piece of Papal shit.
FATHER JOE: Sit down. Just sit down.

SCULLY (VO): Don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me.

SCULLY (VO): Oh yuck, he smells like a mixture of stale half-drunk water bottles, candy cane incense, crushed Tylenol, and discarded plastic Depo-Provera syringes.

FATHER JOE: My eyeglasses... are they too "New York Boheme" for me?

SCULLY: Don't try to ingratiate yourself to me, you cracked-tongued chinchilla waxer.

SCULLY: Just kill yourself. Just get it over with. I give you full permission to go and jump into a hole in the lake.

FATHER JOE: You whore!

FATHER JOE: OK, that's it. Get out. GET your GINGER ass OUT of my dingy, water-stained and sepia, gypsum board prison! You hear me?

SCULLY: Oh I hear you! See you in Hell, pervert... from Heaven!

FATHER JOE: Fuck you and whatever stick's up your saggy asshole! If I never see this aging hooker's face again in my lifetime, it'll be too soon. And she's out of here, thank the Lord! Suffer be the fucking children!

SCULLY: Bitch pedo say what? I am a fucking mother-and-a-half, you impenitent cocksucker, so you better wipe that smug remorse off that pervy, decrepit face of yours.

SCULLY: OKAY, THAT'S IT! TIME TO PLAY SLAP THE BITCH.

FATHER JOE: I can yell! I CAN YELL, TOO, YOU KNOW!

SCULLY: Yell your pansy-ass head off, doesn't change the fact I'm gonna give you such a wailing right now.

FATHER JOE: AHHHH! OK, OK, I AM GOING TO! I WILL! I PLAN TO! AHHHHHHH!

SCULLY: WAAAGGGHHH! WRAAAGGGHHH!

FATHER JOE: RAAAAGGGGHHHH!

SCULLY: RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

FATHER JOE: RAAAAAHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHAAAAAA!

SCULLY: RAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHAAARAGGGGHHH!

FATHER JOE: RARGARGARARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

SCULLY: RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

SCULLY: OH SHIT!

[SCENE]

1 comment:

Krystal said...

fucking hilarious, bro.