Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Scene between an Idealistic Medical Doctor and Divinely Retributed Pedophilic Ex-Priest

FATHER JOE: Oh. It's you.

SCULLY: I hope I'm not dropping in at an inconvenient time. I know you've probably had a busy day munching on tile or eating grapes with your eyes closed.

FATHER JOE: Oh... You bitch!

SCULLY: OK I'm sorry. Please, I actually need to have a word with you.

SCULLY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you just sicken me so much, you cheap piece of Papal shit.
FATHER JOE: Sit down. Just sit down.

SCULLY (VO): Don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me, don't sit next to me.

SCULLY (VO): Oh yuck, he smells like a mixture of stale half-drunk water bottles, candy cane incense, crushed Tylenol, and discarded plastic Depo-Provera syringes.

FATHER JOE: My eyeglasses... are they too "New York Boheme" for me?

SCULLY: Don't try to ingratiate yourself to me, you cracked-tongued chinchilla waxer.

SCULLY: Just kill yourself. Just get it over with. I give you full permission to go and jump into a hole in the lake.

FATHER JOE: You whore!

FATHER JOE: OK, that's it. Get out. GET your GINGER ass OUT of my dingy, water-stained and sepia, gypsum board prison! You hear me?

SCULLY: Oh I hear you! See you in Hell, pervert... from Heaven!

FATHER JOE: Fuck you and whatever stick's up your saggy asshole! If I never see this aging hooker's face again in my lifetime, it'll be too soon. And she's out of here, thank the Lord! Suffer be the fucking children!

SCULLY: Bitch pedo say what? I am a fucking mother-and-a-half, you impenitent cocksucker, so you better wipe that smug remorse off that pervy, decrepit face of yours.

SCULLY: OKAY, THAT'S IT! TIME TO PLAY SLAP THE BITCH.

FATHER JOE: I can yell! I CAN YELL, TOO, YOU KNOW!

SCULLY: Yell your pansy-ass head off, doesn't change the fact I'm gonna give you such a wailing right now.

FATHER JOE: AHHHH! OK, OK, I AM GOING TO! I WILL! I PLAN TO! AHHHHHHH!

SCULLY: WAAAGGGHHH! WRAAAGGGHHH!

FATHER JOE: RAAAAGGGGHHHH!

SCULLY: RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

FATHER JOE: RAAAAAHHHHHGGGGGGHHHHAAAAAA!

SCULLY: RAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHAAARAGGGGHHH!

FATHER JOE: RARGARGARARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

SCULLY: RAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

SCULLY: OH SHIT!

[SCENE]

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Images from the 1st Half of DEATH PROOF

This movie is so tender it hurts, and I mean it. This film has incredible tenderness contained in it, perhaps unrivaled in any comparable film. These choice images by themselves, of course, don't do justice to the bittersweet reel of this film's staggeringly compassionate whirl and rotation.





Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Ascent (Larisa Shepitko, 1977)


Very much an art movie, but nevertheless also exciting, funny, and lively. Primordial and unevolved elements of the cinematic buddy comedy show up here and work in amusing juxtaposition with the bleak precision of the film's Christ allegory.

The character of Sotnikov is brilliantly conceived. He takes on the Christ role not because he is, as was the Son of God, the pro-actively saintly or most undeniably purposed of mortal man, but because he is the most passively meek and mildest of hypochondriac man - one who responds with willing credulity to his compatriot politics instead of transcending them; one who enjoys the balm of resignation, who relaxes himself by diminishing his consciousness to a pin-prick of perception and thus reminding himself how ephemeral and involuntary his existence is; one who becomes a martyr because it seems the best way to fit in the war-torn world he inhabits. And the film entreats the question, if the real J.C. did all the courageous stuff he did, just hoping to impress someone?

The Ascent - 9/10